The introduction

Everyone has their horror stories about dating, stories they heard from friends about dating, from friends of friends. I have heard them, as well, but most of the stories my friends hear come straight from the source of some of the strangest, most awkward, and unbelievably worst dates in the history of dating. Actually, I imagine that in the history of dating there were some pretty terrible stories that these couldn't match. But they are true. And they happened to me. And for some reason I can't help but get myself on dates with truly awkward endings, or beginnings. I like to think it's not just me who has to deal with these dates.

The reality of the situation is I don't go on many dates, but the ones I have been on have resulted in miserable or embarrassing episodes of the world of dating. Whenever stories about bad dates get told, there is always someone around that chimes in, "I have a story about a date my friend went on last year," and the group can tell it's my story because my face has turned a color similar to tomato red and I'm trying to slip away unnoticed. I'm never successful at slinking away like actresses in Hollywood films are. If only life was a Hollywood film or television show; then my dating horrors would be accompanied by a laugh track or live studio audience, or millions of movie patrons would leave their seat in the dark theater grateful that poor girl on the screen wasn't them.

The only hope I have is that the series of bad dates I've been on in the past few years will result in a few good ones, and maybe one perfect man will someday make it so I can leave the dating world behind permanently. Let's face it - the Prince Charming's of the world don't ride in on the white steed anymore. Nowadays he usually drives in with a reasonably priced manual car. I'm totally cool with reasonably priced manual cars - wish I drove a manual much better than I do - I just wish he could figure out which house was mine. Until that day arrives, please enjoy these tales from the memory box of dating that have allowed me to learn the warning signs of who not to date and to trust my gut no matter what engineers say.