Age is just a number, but this was my first date with someone in a different age group than myself.
It all started after a Ryan Cabrera show downtown. My friend Megan and I decided to wait until after the crowds had left to see if we could meet Mr. C, and we lucked out in more ways than one. While we were waiting we met a couple of other ladies who were doing the same thing, and we were all chatting away when a man came up to us. None of us really knew who he was, and he came over to me and said something. Well, because he was not very clear I said to him, "I'm sorry but I didn't hear a word you just said." It wasn't rude; it was fact. I didn't hear a word he said. So he repeated himself: "This lady over there keeps trying to dance with me. She's like a cougar or something, and I'm trying to get away with her. Can you save me from her by dancing with me?"
Now, usually a guy making something up to talk to a girl is pretty creative, but this one was really something. I didn't see this "cougar" and I wasn't sure about this guy, but I said sure and we headed out onto the dance floor. There were very few people still in this venue - it's usually a club, but there is a stage and they apparently rented it out for this show - but a few couples had gone onto the dance floor, so I didn't mind dancing for a little while. The "cougar" did exist! She came up to us and asked to cut in while we were dancing, and I couldn't help but chuckle to myself she awkwardly walked away with a drink in her hand, scanning the room for prey to pounce.
As we were dancing the man commented on how well I moved. What can I say - I've got some dance skills. We finally introduced ourselves. His name was Jeff, and he owned his own business. Score! Random man introduces himself and he's self-employed? This has never happened before. We dance a little while longer, until the coast is clear and there are no "cougar" sightings, and then we go back to our respective groups. A few minutes later, after much chatting with Megan and the other ladies, - "He could be your Morelli!" Megan said - I decided to give Jeff my number. And a few minutes after that Jeff gave me his card. He then left with his buddy - his buddy appeared to be a moron, and tool, which in the movie world would be a foreshadowing but I was so excited I ignored him - and Ryan Cabrera came downstairs and we got pictures and autographs, then Megan and I went home.
I think I called him to see if he wanted to go out, but I can't remember in all honesty. I remember playing phone tag for a while, and finally we were able to coordinate our schedules to meet up for dinner on a Monday night. How I remember it was a Monday night is because I had to make sure I got back in time to set up for community Mass, as I was the person in charge of it in the residence hall. And I really appreciated that our phone conversations weren't unnecessarily long; they were efficient and to the point. He let me choose the place - I'm bad at making decisions, so I went with something familiar but sort of neutral territory. I got there maybe a few minutes early, and was able to get a table. A funny coincidence was that a friend of mine was actually a server at the place, and she was able to chat with me for a little while and bring me my first beer. He did show up a wee bit late, but at least he called. I think he got lost - why don't people look up directions before they leave for somewhere?
Once Jeff arrived things when great. We were able to have a good flowing conversation and enjoy a meal. The one awkward part of the conversation came about when he was talking about his younger sister being pregnant. She was as old as I was, and I didn't feel that comfortable discussing her sex life considering I didn't really know her, or Jeff for that matter. He asked if I had siblings and whether I talked about things with my brother, and I told him I wasn't sure that I wanted to know if my brother was sexually active or not. That line of discussion quickly ended and we continued to enjoy ourselves. He also talked for a while about how he had recently broken up with a woman he had dated for a few years. I mistakenly had a second beer - I'm the biggest lightweight in the world! - and we finished up our meal.
Jeff suggested that we go do something else. I had a while still until I needed to be back on campus, so I said yes. He suggested we go play pool at a place nearby, and I said I was OK at pool so that would be fun. He drove us to Mississippi Avenue and parked us on a neighboring street, where he decided he needed to change his shirt. Now, I'm thinking this was a ploy for me to admire him with his shirt off, but all it did was make me wonder why he felt the need to change his shirt in the middle of the street and why he felt that was a good time to do so. I should have made a bigger note of this. After this display of masculinity we walked over to the bar for pool. While playing pool, things got playful. We were waiting for a game to finish up and he rested his hand on my back, soothingly running it up and down my back, maybe even sneaking it underneath the shirt at one point, but never going into uncomfortable territory. When we finally got to playing pool things got even more playful. I didn't need help with my angles or anything, so there wasn't any of the stereotypical girl-asking-guy-for-pool-help stuff you see in movies, but at one point we stopped playing pool all together and were leaning into each other, laughing and enjoying the closeness. I was really enjoying the proximity, since it had been quite some time since a man showed this much interest in me, and he was nice and warm. Walking back to his car, he reached down and took my hand, and we walked back holding hands. It was such a sweet gesture. And then when we said goodnight I gave him a kiss on the cheek. It was a great first date...
At least, it seemed to be. Probably it was so great because I had had two beers. Damn my low alcohol tolerance! I enjoyed our date so much because I was a wee bit drunk - not a good way to start a date - and as I was rushing back to campus to get Mass started, I realized I was silly to have had two beers knowing I am such a lightweight. But I wanted to go on another date, a more sober date (not that I'm a lush, but...), one where I could determine whether I liked this guy because he was a great guy or because a couple of pints of beer were running through my blood stream. So after another series of phone calls, we agreed to meet up on the weekend to the Zoo.
Again, he was late. Hmm, I thought, interesting. It was a drizzly day with some rain, but a hat was all that was needed to protect me from the elements. He did bring an umbrella in case, but I didn't think we'd need it. The Zoo is a great place for a date because you get to walk and talk and enjoy each other - perfect. So as we walked and talked a few concerning things happened. First, as I was making sure my phone was on silent, he asked if he could see my phone. Strange, I thought, but OK. I handed it over and he commented on the background. My phone had a picture of me as the wallpaper in case I lost it somewhere, in the hopes that someone would be able to identify me from the picture and return it, which I explained to him. He said, "This is a great picture of you. You should send it to me so I can put a copy at my desk at work." Whoa! This was only date number two, and that took me completely by surprise. Why would I give a picture of me to someone I had just started dating, and why would I want them to put said picture at their desk so early on? Things continued to get a little weird. The whole time we were walking around he was trying to slap my butt with either his hand or his sweatshirt or something. I know I have a great ass (it cannot be denied), but that does not give permission to begin slapping it. I did my best to evade, but sometimes I was unsuccessful. And as we walked through the park he wanted to wrap his arm around me, which would have been fine, but it wasn't comfortable the way he did. Finally, we came across this party we were wondering about, and he decided to ask a gentleman about what was going on. This led to a lengthy discussion between the two men, which became more of a networking opportunity, as I stood there zoning out and wondering if all that I had seen the last date was just a front and never actually happened. Then I remembered a few things: the shirt changing episode, the over-sharing of his sister's personal life... oh no. Things were not going well.
We walked out of the Zoo and he walked me to my car. He started to give me a hug and say goodbye, but then it turned into an awkward hug-holding thing. It's hard to explain. Say someone is giving you a hug, and then the two of you never leave the hug, and you stand there in this embrace talking into each other's ears in a very up close and personal way. It wouldn't have been so bad if the rest of the day had gone better. We broke apart, but then he hugged me again and I was trapped in an endless cycle of hug-holding, wanting to go home to the warmth and safety of my apartment and unable to do so. It would have been nice if I had known him better, too, but at this point I was getting creeped out. Finally, after three of these cycles, I opened my door and he walked to his car. I'm not sure what we said as we parted ways, but I had this feeling that it was the last time we were seeing each other, and I was OK with that. He didn't call me; I didn't call him. It was a mutual parting of ways.
After the dates with Jeff I realized a couple of things. One, he was definitely thinking he was going to get some action from me, most likely because I was younger and because of how well I "moved" on the dance floor; he probably was also looking to have some fun as a single man. Two, I should not have more than one drink on a date, even if the guy offers to buy another; I simply do not have the tolerance level to handle any more than the first drink, and it definitely affects my judgment. Three, a guy in his thirties is a great date, as long as he doesn't act like he's in this twenties. Four, men who change their shirt on the first date are something to be wary about.
At least he paid for our dinner... and he was the first guy that I made it to Date Two.
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